


Happy Endings in 10,000 Words or Less - Guaranteed

by SinisterScribe



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 'cunt' is practically punctuation, AAAAAAAAALLLL Addicted1's fault, Brace yourselves, F/M, Happy endings all round, Hunting Queen, Not Like That, Outlaw Queen is referred to, Personalised misogyny, Reginas, Reginas everywhere, Romance, STEAK!, Self insertion, Stable Queen, Swan Queen - Freeform, WHY is 'Sherlock is a size Queen' even in a list of prompts?, Worlds Colliding, fuck Robin, get yer minds out of the gutter, gift chapter, hissing, no not in the good way, spoilers kinda for upcoming fics, this is what it's like in my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinisterScribe/pseuds/SinisterScribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uuuummm...my friend has been begging me to take her on a trip through the tesseract to all the marvellous and infuriating places that my ideas come from. So she got a day pass and...this happened. </p><p>We've got a bit of everything here; some Hunting Queen, some Swan Queen (kind of) and some Stable Queen. </p><p>Alternate universes, multiple fics colliding, previews of events to come, Emma realises she's a bit of a moron but it's not really her fault, the fallacy of a happy ending is explained and Robin is punished even when he's not there. </p><p>It's beautiful. </p><p>Also; no knees were parted in the making of this fic. Which I think explains a lot about certain tourist's social life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Endings in 10,000 Words or Less - Guaranteed

**10,000 Words or Less**

**_Granny’s…_ **

 

Quiet days, Granny thought, were the worst.

There was no such _thing_ as a quiet day in Storybrooke, not since Emma Swan had turned up at any rate. Granny supposed she should be grateful since every single day for the preceding twenty eight years had been the same monotonous, boring, stagnant, _quiet_ day.

Still, was it too much to hope that the drama be kept to a bare minimum for a day? Just one. Not too much to ask, Granny thought.

At the very least, could the drama happen somewhere _other_ than the main floor of her diner?

Would that be so terrible?

The bell rang over the door and two strangers walked in.

Apparently it would be terrible.

No quiet days for Granny.

They looked harmless enough (real trouble always did) but Granny narrowed her eyes and took in their details in the manner of someone who knew they would be giving a detailed description to law enforcement later.

They were both small, mid-to-late twenties, dark brown hair, dark eyes and therein the similarities ended. One of them had wildly curly hair that fell to her shoulders and was slimly athletic, the other had straight hair of indeterminate length that was tied back into a messy knot at her nape. The one with straight hair was of a –hmm- rounder build. 

“Great, we’re lost.” Straight Hair scowled and spoke with an accent not dissimilar to Gold’s.

Granny tensed, good grief not _another_ relative! The level of inbreeding in this town was just too damn high!

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Curly Hair went up on her toes and peered over her friend’s shoulder. Her accent made Granny think of the South but there was nothing terribly confederate about it. “Look, see, there.”

“That’s a coffee stain.” Straight Hair growled.

“You sure? Looks like a hill.”

“There are no hills on this map. It’s a coffee stain.” Straight Hair crumpled the map abruptly into a ball and stuffed it into the trashcan by the door. “I don’t even _drink_ coffee!”

“Alright, calm down, we’ll just ask for directions.” Curly Hair waved at the bar and therefore Granny.

“Oh sure, _that’ll_ go down well; ‘hey, sorry tae bother ye, but we were looking for the dimensional fold that will take us to Gravity Falls in Oregon? Haven’t seen it? No, didnae think so, it doesn’t actually exist in your universe.’ Do you want tae ask or shall I?”

Granny frowned and went back to her glass polishing. The two weren’t aware that she could hear their entire conversation so she pretended innocence when Straight Hair gave in and ambled towards the bar.

Now that they were closer, Granny took note of their clothes and an eye out for any distinguishing features.

Curly Hair was slightly paler than Straight Hair, she wore faded blue jeans, white tennis shoes and a dark blue hooded sweater with the green lettering of _High Functioning Sociopath_ on the front. She also wore some kind of tag on a lanyard around her neck. It had block capital letters in red declaring _TOURIST: NO TOUCHIE._

Straight Hair a black tee shirt, red tartan pants and brown cowboy boots. They both hopped up onto the stools at the bar and she revealed the white lettering on her black tee shirt (with a neckline that seemed to have a serious aversion to her neck) said _Fuck Cens*rship_. Her arms were entirely covered in tattoos. She had a small scar above her left eyebrow.

Granny made particular note of the tattoos and scar.

Something smelled…off about them.

Straight Hair propped her elbows on the bar and a sudden change washed over her. She smiled brightly in a somewhat infectious manner (remind Granny to get her boosters) and the charm rolled off her in waves.

“Mornin’, I’m Latin, this is Veronica my hetero-life-mate, we were just wondering what was the best thing to drink in this fine establishment,” she glanced at Granny’s shirt for a nametag and didn’t even falter, “darlin’.”

“We’ve got soda, beer, coffee, tea, milkshakes, floats or liquor.” Granny looked between them.

“Gluten free beer?” Veronica asked hopefully and Latin snorted in disgust.

“Wheesht, you! There’s no such thing!”

“Yes there is!” Veronica looked harassed. “This is discrimination, you know.”

“Is not. I hate everyone equally.” 

“We don’t have gluten free…anything really.” Granny frowned and Veronica heaved a sigh.

“Typical, on a road trip through infinite universes and we land in the one where there’s no such thing as a gluten free market.” Veronica slapped her hand down on the counter.

“Actually, I think our world is the only one that has that kind of thing. It’s usually only the fashionable allergies and diseases that make an appearance.”

“Thanks!” Veronica looked offended and Latin snickered. Veronica narrowed her eyes. “So how many universes are you a werewolf in, Little Miss Seizures?” Veronica prodded at Latin with her finger.

Granny tensed a little at that but neither of them noticed.

“Stop that!” Latin slapped her away. “How many times do I have to tell you that epilepsy is sexy?”

The two women looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing.

“Uh, ladies…?” Granny prompted, she knew well enough that they needed to be watched…preferably from a distance.

“Oh, sorry, love. I’ll have…ooh, I’ll have the raspberry meringue milkshake please.” Latin scanned the menu and made a snap decision. Veronica deliberated a moment more and then looked up with a smile.

“Chocolate for me, please.”

Granny grunted and took herself off to give their order to the kitchen and find something to do at that end of the bar.

“She seems nice.” Veronica said to Latin who hummed in reply and pulled her cell phone from her pocket.

She scowled at it, waving it this way and that as if trying to eke one more bar of signal from the air. She huffed out a frustrated breath and slapped the phone a couple of times.

“Does the violence help?” Veronica propped her elbows on the bar and her chin on her laced fingers. 

“Yes. Actually.” Latin snarked back but hit her phone again. Apparently the violence took a while to have an effect. “We need to know where we are.”

“We really missed Gravity Falls?”

“Yup.” Latin popped the ‘p’. “I mean, I’ve never been to Oregon but this…is not Oregon.” Latin looked around herself and frowned when she actually _looked_ at the diner.

“What is it?”

“Does this place look at all…familiar…to you?” Latin spun around on her stool and looked up and down the diner.

“Little bit.” Veronica agreed and frowned. “Should it not?”

“Well, if we’re in a book then maybe not. I mean, everyone gets a slightly different image from words. TV shows or movies are usually locked tighter in place unless they’re inspired by books or comics because then the two canons can converge and muddy the imagery.” Latin narrowed her eyes and examined the diner closely.

“It kinda looks like Granny’s.” Veronica noted and Granny perked up at the sound of her name.

“Holyshitwe’reinOnceland!” Latin blurted on a rush and hurled herself from the stool and made a break for the door.

She slithered to a halt not three steps later, spun back, grabbed Veronica and hauled her down off the stool to pull her after her.

“Hey, wait!” Veronica dug her heels in and ground Latin to a halt. “Where are we going?”

“Anywhere but here.” Latin hauled again but Veronica was immovable for such a skinny wafer of a human being.

“No, this is good. I want to see.”

“No you don’t. Let’s go.” Latin told her firmly and tried to pull her towards the door again.

“It’ll be fun.”

“It will NOT.” Latin scowled and then forced a smile. “How about we go to Mageverse? Magic and sex starved men all up and down yer business, ye’ll love it.” She yanked again on Veronica’s arm but Veronica was unmoved by the hand on her arm or Latin’s argument.

“I want to see Onceland.” She spoke over Latin when she opened her mouth to protest. “You promised.”

Latin pressed her lips together and dropped Veronica’s hand. Her hands clenched into fists so tightly her knuckles cracked and then she let loose the breath, rolled her shoulders with restless energy and forced her hands to relax.

“This is different. Onceland is…bad, in the tesseract. There’s too much to _fix_. It sets the inner cube to tumbling and then we’re _all_ in trouble!” She waved her arm wildly.

“Nothing bad has happened.” Veronica waved at the diner that was empty aside from them.

“Oh, aye, that’s right. I mean, I haven’t died yet so that must mean that it’s never going to happen.” Latin snorted and threw her hands in the air. “Come on, we’re going.”

“Nope.” Veronica danced out of the way when Latin reached for her arm again and grabbed the heavier girl around the waist. With a grunt off effort, she bodily hauled Latin back towards the bar.

“No! No! Ye’ll never take me alive!” Latin’s cowboy boots squeaked as they scuffed against the tiled floor. “God damn sexy but impractical shoes! And curse you and your corporeal strength! Put me down!”

Latin got her wish when Veronica dumped her on the stool she had vacated so recently.

“We’re staying for a drink.”

“But…!”

“You _promised_.”

Latin made a growling sound that would have done a werewolf proud, clapped her hand hard against her forehead and then smeared it down over her face.

“I hate you.”

“Nah, I’m adorable.”

“Drinks?” Granny cautiously approached again now that her patrons had decided to stay.

“I suppose it’s too late to add vodka to mine?” Latin grumbled and brightened considerably when Granny turned without a word and found a bottle of irish cream.

“Here, this won’t curdle.” Granny poured a triple into the already overflowing milkshake and Latin grinned wickedly.

“I knew I liked you for a reason.” Latin lifted up her milkshake in salute and sipped cautiously, trying to prevent most of it from getting onto her tee shirt. She recognised it was something of an inevitability but she’d like to put it off as long as possible.

“So…what are you two doing in town?” Granny decided she might as well go fishing.

“Visiting.” Veronica smiled.

“Briefly.” Latin grumbled.

“Seems quiet today.” Veronica continued, ignoring her friend. “We miss the lunch rush?”

“It hasn’t started yet.” Granny frowned a little. They didn’t even know what time it was? “You want something to eat?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Veronica and Latin spoke together and Latin scowled.

“You said one drink!”

“I can eat a meal alongside my drink.” Veronica hunched her shoulders. “Are you honestly telling me that you’re turning down the chance for steak?”

Latin, mouth open to launch into a full rant, clipped her teeth together. She scowled.

“Fine. I’ll have the steak and I’ll eat it but –by god- I’m doing it under protest!” Latin snatched the menu up and gave it a cursory glance. “Rump steak, biggest one you have. Salt it, pepper it, butter it and sear it. Peppercorn sauce, mashed potatoes aaaannd…what the fuck is cornbread?”

“It’s…bread.” Veronica frowned, struggling to explain it. “Made of cornmeal.”

“Oh, well, sweetcorn fritters on the side, please.” Latin slapped Veronica with the menu.

“I’ll have the same without the fritters, though medium rare on the steak please.”

“Heathen.” Latin spoke without looking at her and sipped from her drink.

Granny didn’t hang around for the bickering that would inevitably follow and went off to hide at the other end of the bar again. She couldn’t figure the pair out and felt a rush of relief when Emma swung in through the door for her midmorning coffee break.

“Hey, Granny.” Emma smiled at the older woman and it faltered a little when Granny deliberately looked down the bar at the only two customers. Emma glanced at them and didn’t see anything immediately untoward.

Two women about her age chilling at the bar and chatting over milkshakes…still, if Granny’s instincts were to be trusted –and they usually were- Emma should probably do some of that sheriffing she’d heard all about.

“All is not quiet on the Western front?” Emma leaned against the end of the bar and Granny sourced a cup of coffee for her. Not a paper one. She guessed she was staying for a while.  

“They rolled in here stinking of magic and acting…squirrely. Something about them is off.”

Emma focussed on the woman nearest to her, the one in the black tee shirt and tartan pants and sent her magic questing tentatively to try and get a read on her.

She yelped when the magical equivalent to a right cross to her jaw sent her nerves to jangling.

“Nobody ever tell ye that’s rude?!” The woman turned and scowled at her.

“Uh…sorry.” Emma, resisting the urge to rub at her jaw since that was the closest physical sensation to what she had just experienced, scooped up her mug and cautiously walked down the bar. “You’re new in town.”

“Well spotted.” Blackshirt drawled.

“We’re just visiting for a little while.” The other woman leaned forward and seemed a _little_ more amenable to Emma. “I’m Veronica, that’s Latin.”

“Emma Swan,” Emma held out her hand, “I’m the Sheriff.”

“We know.” Latin looked her up and down but programming took over and she accepted the handshake with one of her own. She leaned back so Veronica could make nice next.

“So, you’ve been in town for a while then?” Emma hopped up onto a stool herself and looked between the two women.

“About twenty minutes now.” Veronica spoke when Latin wouldn’t.

“Oh.” Emma frowned and Latin sighed.

“Listen, we’re nae stayin’ long. We’re here for a drink and now a lunch –apparently- then we’ll be gone. No hassle.”

“Gone…how?” Emma looked between them. “And how did you even get in? The Snow Queen’s spell…”

“I’ve got a skeleton key.” Veronica grinned and clapped her hand onto Latin’s shoulder who looked less than pleased with current events.

“You can get in and out of the barrier?!” Emma’s eyes went wide. “How?!”

“Yes.” Latin admitted after a long moment. “And I could tear it down if I was of a mind to.”

“You could tear it down?”

Latin thought about it a moment and then wrinkled her nose in distaste. She rolled her eyes at herself then shrugged and nodded at the same time.

“Aye. For sure.”

“Great!”

“Seriously?” Veronica frowned. “You don’t even know our second names and you’re willing to let us have at it with a spell that covers the entire town a la Stephen King?”

“Hey, if it means we can get the barrier down, I’m all over that.” Emma sliced her hand through the air.

“Why?” Latin frowned at her.

“Well, so…Robin can…”

“Oh _gawd_!” Latin scoffed in disgust. “No. All my no. I’m not bringing it down so that talentless flip flopping reject of fucktardia can come back into town and just shit all over best laid plans left, right and centre!”

“Wow, Latin, tell us how you really feel.” Veronica drawled with a smirk and her friend rounded on her.

“This is your fault! I TOLD you! I’m here for five soddin’ minutes and suddenly I’m sucked into a plot. A bad one! Five minutes and this poorly written _drivel_ starts clogging the gears and it has to be fixed.” Latin threw her hands up in the air. “Your fault!”

“I accept full responsibility.” Veronica laid a hand on her chest and grinned unrepentantly. “So…what are you going to do?”

Latin gave her a truly thunderous scowl and then –oddly- hissed at her like an angry cat.

“Did you just…hiss at me?” Veronica looked amused.

“Don’t make me do it again.” Latin warned her and folded her arms over her considerable chest with a thump.

“I don’t get it,” Emma tentatively rejoined the conversation, “can you bring down the barrier or not?”

“The barrier’s negligible.” Latin waved it away. “You’ve got the Snow Queen’s scroll, you’ve got the doorway in the Sorcerer’s house that could take you to Arendelle to borrow the Wishing Star and then you –or Henry- could make a sodding wish and fix EVERYTHING and –probably- you could use the magic nullifying cuff that put the whammy on Regina before Neverland to bring the whole thing down if you could get Whale to build something to amplify it. I mean, really, do you ever _think?!”_

“Rockstar.” Veronica jerked her thumb at Latin and sipped from her milkshake.

“Well…when you put it like that…” Emma did feel like a bit of an idiot.

“Not entirely your fault.” Latin gulped from her milkshake and enjoyed the burn of the irish cream.

“Yeah,” Veronica nodded, “your writers are pretty terrible.”

“Wait, writers, do you mean the Author?”

“ _The_ Author.” Latin rolled her eyes. She scoffed. “Another talentless hack.”

“Nnnnnyeah…” Veronica tugged on her earlobe and nodded. “Still…I know someone that happens to specialise in happy endings if that’s what you want for Regina?” She raised her eyebrows at Emma.

“You…” Emma looked between them and narrowed her eyes. “Nah, you can’t. If you were Authors…”

“We’d what?” Veronica hunched her shoulders. “Be taller? Be men? Be beings of ultimate power? Nope. We’re just people like the rest of y’all.”

“Hold the phone,” Emma held up her hand, “you two are really Authors?”

Latin and Veronica looked at one another and Latin turned back to Emma.

“For the purposes of this discussion, yes.”

“There’s more than one?”

“Pfft, yeah!” Veronica looked confused as to why Emma would have thought otherwise. “You mean to tell me that you think one person could record every single story, myth and legend in all of the worlds in the last ten thousand years?”

Emma heaved a sigh and looked down at her coffee. She opened her mouth and looked up to see Latin glaring at her.

“If you say ‘cause magic’ I will feed you that fucking cup.”

“Alright, whatever, you’re Authors, can you really change Regina’s ending to a happy one?”

“No.” Latin gulped down the rest of her milkshake and considered hopping the bar for another –stronger- drink. “There are no endings and no beginnings. Stories are transitions, the journey from what was to what is and what will be. Regina’s life _before_ Daniel died to her finding the man that will love her and stay with her until the end of her days is the transition. It’s not an ‘ending’ it’s the culmination of a movement. Just because you finish one dance doesn’t mean that you’re going to never dance again when the next song plays.” Latin wrinkled her nose when that analogy didn’t do it justice.

“You’re doing that thing again.” Veronica pointed out.

“What thing? Using my brain?”

“Not all of us read the dictionary from cover to cover and know what words _actually_ mean rather than what pop culture told us they do. You knew fine and well what she was asking.”

“It was a stupid question so she got a comprehensive answer.” Latin growled and then hunched her shoulders. “And it was a book! How was I supposed to know you were only supposed to read a bit of it?!”

Veronica chuckled but didn’t refute her friend.

“Alright, fine, transition the hell out of her, can you do it?” Emma tried to steer them back on track.

“Of course.” Veronica nodded and then looked expectantly at Latin.

It took her friend a moment to realise that she was the centre of attention and then she looked wildly between Emma and Veronica both and their pleading looks.

“Ooooh no!” Latin sliced both hands through the air. “No. No. No _way_. I am NOT taking on another story!”

“Just a little one?” Veronica held up her hand, finger and thumb held a half inch apart. “Just a _teeny_ little oneshot? Go on, you know you want to.”

“No!” Latin shook her head vehemently. “Don’t want to. I NEVER want to. This shit just _happens_ to me.”

Veronica pouted her lip a little and gave her best puppy eyes ever. Latin raised her eyebrows in a ‘seriously’ expression and Veronica dropped the pout and slammed her hand down on the bar.

“Oh, come ON!” She huffed out an annoyed breath. “I refuse to believe that you can’t fix this in ten thousand words or less.”

“Even I’ve got limits.” Latin looked harassed.

“Have you found them yet?”

Latin’s mulish look was answer enough.

“Come ooooooonn, you love happy endings and you hate bad writing. This is _perfect_.”

Latin glared at the ceiling as if it was to blame for her predicament.

“Do you _want_ Robin to come back? Because this way leads to canon and him inevitably coming back.” Veronica raised her hands in a ‘nothing I can do’ manner.

Latin gave a low and reluctant growl.

“Please.” Emma gently touched her tattooed arm and Latin looked down at the contact over her tattoos.

That arm was covered in writing. Intricate lettering collaged over her arm in a trail of pages that appeared to have been stapled into her flesh, secondary tattoos peeking out from behind the pages. Emma’s fingers pointed to Latin’s favourite verse.

_Do not go into gentle into that good night._

_Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

Latin heaved a sigh and Veronica grinned a huge smile showing all of her teeth.

“Fiiiiine.” Latin growled and then rounded on her friend. “But you stay here. RIGHT here. No going off to find an adventure, no getting distracted, no nothing. Got it?”

“I aim to mis- -ahem- behave.” Veronica smiled as innocently as she knew how (not very well as it turned out) and Latin grunted, wisely not believing her.

“Right, happy endings all round is it?” She hopped down off her stool and straightened the lapels of her leather jacket that she was suddenly wearing, mirror aviator sunglasses took up most of her face and obscured her expressive eyes.

She inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. She seemed to get taller, sharper looking. Subtle changes, the way she stood, the tilt of her head, but she suddenly looked ready to take over the planet if she had to.

Emma rocked back a little and eyeballed her warily.

“Relax, Saviour, I rarely pay attention to you as it is.” She turned her head as if looking at Veronica, though it was difficult to tell behind the glasses, and she smirked showing off a single dimple. “Alright, let’s boogie. I’ll be back presently.”

Then she strode away across the diner and disappeared out of the door with a merry jangle of the bell.

Emma turned back to Veronica.

“What is she…?”

“See for yourself.” Veronica nodded at the door.

Emma twisted to see Regina being bodily pushed into the diner by Latin, a man with curling blonde hair that reached down past his shoulders and a broad shouldered build being punted in after her and Latin herding them deeper into the diner.

“Sit.” She pointed imperiously at a booth and waved Regina and the huge man onto the bench.

 The man kept himself between Latin and Regina and Regina openly scowled at the younger woman. Her eyes shimmered purple. Emma sat back when she felt the _weight_ of the magic pouring off not only Regina but the man too.

“Do NOT start anything.” Latin warned them firmly in a voice not to be disobeyed.

Judging by the way Regina’s jaw clenched and her eyes sparked, they’d already had something of a disagreement on their way here and Regina hadn’t come out on top.

“Shoulder’s on fire.” Veronica called helpfully and Latin growled, slapping at the flame that burned on her leather jacket.

Latin moved over to them and looked generally more harassed than she had a minute ago before she had left the diner. She clapped at the flames until they were smothered and turned to Veronica.

“Emmet.” She waved at the table. “Before he finds out about Blue so probably wise not to spoilerise them.”

Veronica propped herself up against the bar on her elbow and nodded easily.

Latin glanced at Emma.

“Might be an idea to explain to her.”

“No problem.” Veronica nodded. “Who you going for next? I wouldn’t recommend Hyde.”

“No shit.” Latin snorted. She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “If she sees Daniel first she’s not going to see anything else.”

“Sounds legit.” Veronica nodded. “Graham? Half-hearted Graham.”

Latin propped her hands on her hips and thought it over.

“What about Charming? Your Charming?”

“Nnggh…still don’t know what’s going on with them. They’re being _very_ difficult over it. Ooh! Charmucles!”

“Oh, I had enough trouble with the Blonde and the Bold over there and you want me to go and pick a fight with a demigod?!”

“Aren’t you a demigod here?”

“I can erase it but it still _hurts_.” Latin threw her arm wide and then visibly and forcibly calmed herself. “There’s got to be someone that won’t kill me outright…or make me wish they had killed me outright.”

“You were the one that turned them all ridonculously Alpha.” Veronica didn’t look sorry about that at all.

“Graham it is!” Latin clapped her hands together. “You might want to give her a bit of background.” She jerked a thumb at Emma and then spun on her heel to leave the diner again.

“Wait. Graham as in…?”

“Yeah. The Huntsman. How to explain…? You know back in season…a while ago, Regina killed Graham?”

“Ye-eah.” Emma looked rightly wary.

“Well, there’s a part of the multiverse where she didn’t. Latin’s gone there to get them. I _think_ she’s collecting couples from here and there to show Regina that her ‘happy ending’ isn’t set in stone.”

“So she’s going to do that by showing what she could have had with a guy that she killed?”

“Well, she’s also going to be showing it with a guy that should be a woman.” Veronica waved at the Regina in the booth and the apparent Emmet. “Meet your gender swapped reflection.”

“Say what-now?” Emma’s eyes went wide.

“Emmet Swan.” Veronica nodded towards him. “In his universe, magic happens and he ends up as a guy. Turns out –with a penis- the things that Regina likes about you are amplified and the qualities she hates suddenly are a lot more tolerable in a guy.”

“That’s…sexist!” Emma hit on a word that worked after a moment.

“Really? She’s killed people by the hundred and you’re still friends with her. Now you’re going to lose your shit over some personalised misogyny?”

Emma clipped her teeth together. Well…when put like that…

“Okay, so, Graham’s coming back…anything else I should know about?”

“Hmmm…I imagine there will be multiple Reginas.” Veronica pursed her lips. “That might make things…interesting.”

“Chyathink?!” Emma hissed at her. “Dealing with one is hard enough!”

“Oh, please, your Regina is SO mellow compared to the one that’s about to turn up…and that one actually.” Veronica nodded to the current Regina sitting in the booth.

“Jist…get in!” The door jangled as Latin kicked it open and shoved another Regina, with the short hairstyle she’d had when Emma had first met her, and –indeed- a Graham into the diner. Latin juggled what she was holding in both arms and pointed imperiously over to her chosen booth. “Over there!”     

Latin marched over to the bar and clattered what she was carrying onto the worktop with a rattling clang. She was breathing hard, a sweat slicked her skin and she did not at all looked impressed. She held her shoulder as if it was stiff and a welt was raised on her neck.

“Y’all okay?” Veronica sat up straighter, good humour draining away.

“I’m fine.” Latin dusted herself down and tried to cover her shakes. That had been _close._ “Turns out that he figured out how to work the tattoo weapons. _He_ nearly beheaded me and _she_ shot at me!” She turned to glare at the second Regina and her Graham.

“I thought you couldn’t get hurt in here?” Veronica frowned.

“I can’t be killed though I _can_ be made to wish I had been. My imagination –as it turns out- is a somewhat psychosomatic affair.” Latin jerked her coat to needlessly straighten it and huffed out a breath. She slapped at her clothes and muttered mostly to herself. “You should see me after the recurring dream in the dungeon with the horse.”

“What can we do?” Emma eyeballed both Regina’s who were glaring at one another and Graham and Emmet watching one another warily.

Jeez, Veronica hadn’t been kidding when she’d said alpha male. Emma could practically see the testosterone clouding through the air. Both men seemed to measure one another but were saving their energy for the inevitable fight when the other instigated it.

Emma was reminded uncomfortably of two apex predators battling for dominance over their group.

She was also battling with the knowledge that her opposite self was a total hottie.

“You can referee.” Latin spoke to Veronica and jerked her head towards the booth that was growing more crowded as time went on. “ _You_ won’t be hurt in here and I’ve made a few amendments so they shouldn’t raise _too much_ of a ruckus.”

“A ruckus?” Emma looked up from examining the weapons that Latin had dumped on the bar.

A shotgun and a sword. Though they were…wrong. They seemed to be silhouettes of those weapons. Their shadows made three dimensional. Emma nudged the sword and found it to have the weight of a real sword and a keen edge that scored into the top of the bar but there was no light on it. Not even a barest reflection. Even Pan’s free roaming shadow had exhibited a certain depth to it.

Emma made a wary sound and edged away from the sword and shotgun.

“A ruckus,” Latin shrugged and drew Emma’s attention to her once more, “y’know, a commotion, a disturbance, a brouhaha, a free-for-all, a rumpus, a riot, an uproar, a brawl…”

“Latin.” Veronica cut in and Latin clipped her teeth together.

“It’s not my fault your education system is shit.”

Veronica frowned at her.

“I need you to call Regina, your Regina, and get her here.” Latin turned to Emma again.

“What do I say?”

“Oh, so you think that telling her that not one but two Authors have turned up in Storybrooke, a dead guy, an alternate you and _two_ alternate hers appearing in the diner won’t snag her attention even a little?” Veronica pursed her lips and cocked her head. “I’m beginnin’ to wander what y’all do here that’s more interesting than _that_.”

“Fair enough.” Emma scowled at her, getting tired of sounding like an idiot.

She pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through the memory for Regina’s number. Hopping down onto the floor, she moved off a ways to make the call. She heard the two Authors talking quietly behind her but couldn’t stop what she was doing to listen in.

“You sure you’re okay?” Veronica looked Latin over.

“I’m good.” The Scot waved it off with a lopsided smile. “I love the smell of adrenaline in the morning.” She bobbed her eyebrows behind her mirrored glasses that now had a fracture in one lens.

“Seriously though.”

“I’m golden, I promise.” Latin held up her hands. “Just have one more stop and then you will have yer happy ending.”

“This is awesome.” Veronica grinned and leaned forward, gripping the edge of the stool with both hands. “I never thought you’d bring me here.”

“Aye. Well. I’m regrettin’ it, believe me.”

Veronica just grinned again.

“So…how do I referee two sorceresses of unimaginable power and their somewhat aggressive true loves?”

Latin glanced over at the table and turned back to Veronica.

“That would be your problem, no’ mine.”

“Whaaa- -?!” Veronica gaped at her.

“Hey, you wanted to stay here. _I_ wanted to go to Gravity Falls but nooooooo _somebody_ wanted to go soulmate shopping!” Latin flapped her hands at Veronica. “Bed made. Time to lie in it.”

Veronica scowled but made no further protest. She supposed she _had_ gotten what she wanted.

Albeit a bit more up close and personal and firmly in the splash zone/blast radius than she would have preferred.

“Just…keep them occupied until Reggie Prime gets here.”

“I wouldn’t let her hear you call her that.” Veronica advised.

“What’s she going to do? She’s reformed, remember?”

“Reformed doesn’t mean she won’t find a reason not to fry you.” Veronica lifted a shoulder in a shrug and Latin hummed deep in her throat.

“Perhaps there is wisdom in your words, padawan…ach, well.” She grinned and shrugged. “Be-ar-be!”

Veronica huffed a sigh through her nose and watched her friend leave the diner with another jangle from the bell. Her mouth twisted and she looked over to the table with the gimlet glaring Evil Queens and Co.

Well, they weren’t going to referee themselves.

Veronica hopped down off her stool and ambled over to their table. She picked up a chair on her way there and spun it on one leg until she could set it down and straddle it, leaning against the back.

“So!” She looked between them. “I take y’all have introduced yourselves?”

All four pairs of unimpressed eyes turned to look at her.

“Alright,” Veronica hunched her shoulders in a shrug, “I admit that I _may_ be responsible for all this. But it’s for a good cause!” She warded them off with a raised hand when they looked ready to punch her in the brain. “I should also point out that it’s impossible to hurt me and that you’d only succeed in pissing off my friend who I believe y’all are convinced has more than enough power behind her to keep everyone in line?”

“What IS she?” Graham’s Regina demanded tightly.

“A writer.” Veronica shrugged her shoulders, remembering that none of them would have even heard of an Author never mind worried about him. “She has a tesseract in her skull. It’s complicated.”

“A tesseract!?” Both Reginas spoke at the same time and then glared at one another. Still, they both turned to glare at Veronica again.

“I told you, it’s complicated.” Veronica shrugged. “I don’t think even she can explain it. Only that she tends to get…sucked into these kind of places.” 

“What kind of places?” Emmet spoke this time.

“Where are we?” Graham demanded on a low growl and Veronica’s brows rose.

That was _incredibly_ attractive.

Perhaps she’d not been the best choice to be on highly possessive couple-sitting duty.

“We’re in a Storybrooke.” Veronica nodded.

“ _A_ Storybrooke.” Emmet frowned and then glanced at his Regina. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to elaborate.

“It’s like this,” Veronica jumped in, “the tesseract is essentially a kind of infinite doorway that opens into every single universe that has ever, will ever and might ever exist. All of the exhaust fumes tend to bleed back from that kind of thing and they end up in Latin’s brain.”

“She mentioned something about this place needing a lot of fixing.” Emma dragged over another chair and sat straddling it like Veronica. She spoke to the table at large and then Veronica. “Hi, guys. She’s on her way.”

Veronica nodded and turned back to the next FAQ directed at her.

“Fixing how?”

“We-ell…things get a little hazy there.” She pulled on her earlobe and squinted at the ceiling for a second. “As I say, I’m not exactly on the up ‘n’ up when it comes to wordy explanations to do with this.”

“Try.” Graham’s Regina gave a low growl of an order. She, of all of them, was the most dangerous.

“It’s…a calling? A compulsion? Latin… _needs_ to fix these things. The mess that appears to be your lives in general is offensive to her. She can’t stand poor writing and she feels bad for y’all.” Veronica’s mouth twisted and that didn’t seem wholly true even to her own ears. “That and I think smoothing out the wrinkles in the trousers of time is the only way she can sleep at night.”

“Well that hardly sounds…healthy.” Emma shifted uncomfortably on her seat. Like mental health had much to do with everyone sitting at the table. Or anyone in Storybrooke really.

“I don’t know how else to explain it.” Veronica rocked her head to the side. “I mean…we live in a world where our children and our elderly are cared for less than our convicted criminals, where people don’t suffer any real consequences for their poorer actions and things can be generally just…shitty. If you could change _somebody’s_ life, make it better just a little, make it more logical, make it _fairer_ , wouldn’t you?”

“Alright, fine,” Emma recovered first, “then why are you two _here?_ ”

“My dimensional gateway is a lot smaller than hers. Well, maybe I’m just not as practiced at slipping in and out of it. Either way, hers is more fun and she agreed to take me along for a ride. I have a day pass.” Veronica grinned and held up her _TOURIST: NO TOUCHIE_ tag.

“Riiiight…” Emmet rocked his jaw to the side and then nodded in the manner of someone who was going to take this in his stride –for now- and then freak out later. “Then why are we here?”

“Latin wants to show _this_ Regina that her happy ending isn’t set in stone. That she can have what y’all have.” She waved at them and they all took a moment to look uncomfortable. She rolled her eyes with a low growl. “Believe me, Latin wouldn’t go to all the effort of telling your stories if she didn’t know they were going to end well. She does this to make herself feel better, not worse.”

“But…Robin?” Emma tentatively broached the subject. She elaborated when she got blank looks from everyone. Everyone bar Veronica who was cutting her hand through the air and shaking her head frantically in a ‘turn back while there’s still time!’ manner.

Emma either didn’t see her or didn’t care about the Author’s opinion.

“The Man With the Lion Tattoo? Regina’s soulmate?” Emma finally caught on when both Reginas suddenly looked _very_ uncomfortable and Graham and Emmet cast a glance at one another to see if the other man had heard of this.

“Her _what?_ ” Graham leaned closer to Emma, on the verge of crawling over the table to get to the Saviour.

“Ee-easy, tiger!” Veronica stopped him with a hand on his chest and then snatched it away when his Regina shot her a meaningful look. “It’s fine. Totally fine. Things have _occurred_ have they not? And you two have nothing to worry about either. That’s just as quantum as the rest of your lives.” Veronica waved negligently at Emmet and his Regina.

“Okay, so…what are you saying? Regina doesn’t need Robin? She could be happy with someone else?”

“I believe that’s the point Latin is trying to prove in her usual subtle way.” Veronica folded her arms over the back of the chair again.

“But…why?” Emmet hunched his shoulders. “If our Reginas found happiness elsewhere, why can’t she?”

“Nnnggh, I have a really lengthy explanation for all this but the most streamlined one is that Latin pretty much hates Robin.”

“Hates him?” Emma frowned. “ _Why?_ ”

“Hmm, let me think,” Veronica rolled her eyes, “it starts with the fact that it’s his arrow that’s enchanted to find its mark and not skill on his part.” Veronica ticked off her fingers. “That stupid expression he’s got when he’s confused, he’s made up of his precious ‘Code’ which he lives to death and bails on as he sees fit, he keeps choosing his wife Marian over Regina –specifically when there’s the chance of sex to be had it would seem…”

“Wait, my supposed _soulmate_ is only interested in me for sex AND he’s married?!” Graham’s Regina raised her eyebrows in a ‘are you fucking kidding me?!’ way.

“See what I mean? Poorly written.” Veronica hunched her shoulders in a shrug.

“But that’s the Author’s fault.” Emma frowned. “Isn’t it?”

“I thought you said that she was the Author.” Emmet’s Regina leaned forward. “Or the other one was.”

“They both are.” Emma scowled when she realised there were too many people here that were technically the same person. “They’re two Authors and there’s another one that wrote the Storybook that helped Henry break the curse. It’s that one that’s fucking us over. These two seem…well, not harmless but not malignant either.”

“I knew I should have burned it.” Graham’s Regina flicked a stray crumb off the table. “So the foulmouthed one is a petty god behind our lives. How darling.”

“NO.” Veronica groaned and thumped her head against the back of her chair. She sucked in a deep breath and then lifted her head again. “Y’all need to listen; dickhead Author isn’t doing what he’s supposed to do. He’s supposed to sit his ass down, watch events unfold and _record_ it. You know, like an accountant.”

“Like a…?” Graham’s Regina frowned.

“Yeah. That’s my day job.  How do you think I got Latin to give me a day pass to her tesseract?  A lot of flattery, sure—is it still flattery if it’s truthful?—but mostly she felt _sorry_ for me.” Veronica shrugged and then frowned at them when they all just looked at her. “Hey, it’s not like this ‘author’ gig _pays_. I told y’all, we do it to fix stuff.”

They all blinked at her and then twitched in surprise when the door flew open and ‘Reggie Prime’ skidded to a halt in the diner, staring at her reflections, Graham and…whoever the hell the blonde was.

“What did I MISS?!”She stalked across the diner, heels clipping and took everyone in at a glance. Her eyes landed on Veronica last. “Who the hell are you?!”

“This is Veronica!” Emma practically leaped out of her chair to do some damage control. “She’s one of the Authors.”

Regina turned her full gimlet attention on Veronica and her eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t peel you out of your skin for ruining my life?”

“Yes.” Veronica told her calmly. “I have nothing to do with ruining your life.”

Regina Prime was cut off from asking more questions when the door to the diner exploded off its hinges and crimson smoke poured into the room. It washed over the floor in a seething wave and boiled up to Regina and Emma’s knees where they stood. Black cinders roiled amongst the red smoke and everyone tensed.

 “What is that?” Emmet’s Regina twisted to look over the back of the booth. “It feels…”

“Familiar.” Graham’s Regina finished and both of them gaped when two figures strode out of the smoke.

Daniel and a little girl.

All three Reginas stared and inhaled sharply.

Daniel ground to a halt in the middle of the diner, his eyes wide and his mouth slowly parting into a disbelieving smile. He was dressed in an impeccably tailored suit. His little girl in an adorable pink princess dress.

“Regina.” His voice was hoarse when he spoke her name, cracking halfway through and Regina Prime trembled at the sound.

“You’re dead.” She whispered, voice hoarse.

“So are you.” Daniel took another step towards her and she him.

“You died in the stables.” Regina’s throat worked convulsively.

“So did you.” Daniel held out his hand and she filled it with her own.

Not a moment’s hesitation. Not an instant. All the air left her on a rush. He was real. He was real and he was _here._ And he was _real_.

He pulled, a gentle tug on her hand, giving her the chance to refuse him.

Like that would ever happen.

She hurled himself into his arms and he caught her against his chest, holding her tightly. His head bowed, burying his face in her hair. Inhaling her scent.

She was different as the woman –Latin- had said she would be. Older, mature, scarred on the inside, darker, but so was he…but she was real. She was there, she was in his arms and she was _real_.

“Hey, shortstack, why don’t you come with me?” Latin appeared out of the smoke and gently pried the little girl’s hand from her father’s.

She was only little, three or four –Latin wasn’t very good with children’s ages, there was wean, old enough to talk back and big enough for a slap- but she picked her up, propping her onto her hip and moved for the table.

She dropped down to sit next to Emmet, kicking her head up in a greeting and settling the wee girl onto her knee.

She squirmed around, painfully kneeing Latin in the stomach, and sitting on her knees so she could look over Latin’s shoulder at her father and this new person. She looped her arms around Latin’s neck and watched contentedly for a moment.

“Latin, who’s that lady?”

“That is Regina.” Latin craned her head back and turned to see the Dark King Daniel clinging to Regina Prime like he was terrified she’d be ripped away from him.

“Your daddy loves her very much. They’ve been apart a very long time. He missed her.”

“She’s crying. Is she not happy to see him?”

“She’s very happy to see him.”

“But peoples cry when they’s sad.”

“When they _are_ sad.” Latin corrected her mildly. “And grownups sometimes cry if they’re very happy too. You cry when you feel too much and you can’t hold it in anymore. It has to go somewhere so it falls out our eyes and it goes into other people’s eyes when they see the tears and then they feel it too. There’s nothing wrong with crying. It just means your heart is working.”

Latin belatedly noticed the rest of the table and the looks they were all giving her. She shifted uncomfortably, hoping her face wasn’t as hot as it felt. She realised that she had slipped back into her softer look, the sunglasses and the leather jacket gone. She cleared her throat and told herself not to get defensive.

“I’ve never seen daddy cry before. Is that because his heart is broken?”

“His heart was broken, shortie. It’s better now.”

“’Cause the lady?”

“Because of the lady.” Latin nodded.

“Okay.” And she was appeased. She squirmed around, kicking Latin in the gut this time, and then plopped down to sit on Latin’s lap.

She looked about the table and Latin decided introductions were in order.

“Everybody, this is Helen Mills.”

Helen obediently waved, particularly charmed by Emmet towering over her to her left.

“Helen, this is Emmet, Wiggles, Pet and Graham.” She pointed to Emmet, his Regina, other Regina and then Graham. She moved onto Veronica and Emma and ignored the other two Reginas fricasseeing her with their glares at being openly referred to by their pet names.

Latin didn’t care, she’d spent three days on her last jaunt tying up loose ends so Daniel would agree to come with her. 

“That’s Veronica and Emma.”

“She’s freakin’ adorable.” Emma smirked.

“Kind of Henry’s alternate.” Latin nodded, understanding the way both sides of the Swan coin were watching Helen with matching expressions of instant affection. “ _That_ is the Dark King Daniel. He comes from a universe where his Regina died in the stable rather than him. It sent him off the rails a bit. Blah-de-blah, Rumple’s a cunt, machinations abound, Dark Curses are cast, yada, yada, et al.”

Emma’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to protest at such language in front of a child but Veronica caught her arm and shook her head.

“It’s practically punctuation for her. Helen didn’t even notice. Leave it be.”

Emma subsided after a moment and sat down to straddle her chair again.

“Latin. Latin!” Helen thumped her head back against Latin’s chest and looked up at her.

“Whit?” Latin looked down at her.

“They’s all the same. Has daddy got the right lady?”

Latin grinned and chuckled.

“Yeah, darlin’, he’s got the right one.”

“You shoor?”

“Aye.” Latin considered her a moment and then lifted a hand. A bright blue stuffed toy pony with wings and rainbow mane and tale appeared in her grasp. “Hold this for me, shortstack. Her name’s Rainbowdash. Look after her for me.”

“’Kay.” Helen looked delighted with her new friend and-suitably occupied- let Latin return to her conversation.

“What was I saying?” Latin looked up at the rest of the table.

“I’m assuming something about the Dark King coming from a world very like our own save for it being an alternate version of us that died and not him.” Emmet’s Regina waved between herself and her twin and Latin snapped her fingers and pointed at her.

“Nail on the heed.” She nodded and looked over the table at large. “So, long story short, I hopped over there, convinced him to come back with me and here we are. No. Need. For Robin.”  She grinned and ruffled Helen’s hair causing the child to giggle.

“But…what about the curse?”

“Taken care of.” Latin looped her arms around Helen when the little tot squirmed deeper into the heat of her body. It had been a long day for the wee tyke. “A bit of manipulation to make it so the curse would collapse without Daniel there to keep it in line, sending everyone back to their Enchanted Forest. Everybody’s happy.”

“Except for me.” Emma pointed out. “I’ll never get to meet Helen.”

“You’ll never know what you missed.” Latin shrugged.

“What about Rumple?” Graham’s Regina asked.

“Oh, Daniel _personally_ drop kicked him over the down line. Literally. It was beautiful.” Latin smiled and sighed happily.

Veronica snickered.

“Even without the curse, Helen is still with Daniel, was that your doing?” Graham lanced Latin with a look and she knew what he was going to ask.

“I can’t do it for you. Things have to happen a certain way where you come from. If I change that, do it for you, it will be too easy for Henry to be taken away by the narrative.” Latin shifted Helen on her lap. “I _could_ do it for Daniel because this is the start of his story, finding his happy ending, learning to be with her again. He’s still pretty raw. The monster he was swims much closer to the surface. Taming that, coming to trust that his family won’t be taken away from him and he doesn’t have to _stay_ as the monster to keep life at bay, that’s his struggle, his transition.”

“But…he’s Regina’s happy ending. So her ‘transition’ has ended and his has just begun.”

“Aye.” Latin nodded and continued when it was blank looks all round. “Do ye no’ get it? Right. There _is no_ end. Happy or otherwise. One story reaches the pinnacle of its arc and then narrative gravity takes over and another story forms. It will _never_ end and –god- is that _you?_ You smell fantastic.” Latin leaned over towards Emmet and inhaled through her nose.

Emmet looked a little poleaxed at the sudden switch and his Regina clapped her hand down on the table and leaned forward so she could lance Latin with a Look.

“Slow your roll,” Latin smirked and sat up, “I prefer my chocolate dick over white.”

“Did you mean ‘dark’?” Veronica smirked.

“That too.” Latin shrugged a shoulder. “Back to Helen, Daniel and plot ties; Daniel was no longer needed where he was. His part in _that_ Storybrooke was concluded when he was the force that brought Rumple to the world without magic. He didn’t have to hold up the curse, Rumple gets to go and look for his son (albeit without his precious magic), without the curse, Helen wasn’t needed to go and find Emma to break it. They became a loose end there and I just…wove them into something else. Happiness all round.”    

“I thought you were just supposed to _record_ things. Not act like a god.” Graham’s Regina spoke darkly and Latin’s only response was to give her an unimpressed look.

“True. Though I _can_ give little…nudges.” She cocked her head.

“What about my parents, other parents?” Emma asked.

“I suppose they’ll ‘find’ you.” Latin shrugged. “Without Daniel in the way, it’ll probably be possible for them to do a number of things that he’d have destroyed with nothing more than an errant thought.”

“Oh.” Emma frowned. “Doesn’t sound like other me will be very happy.”

“You only know what your life _was_ before Henry in this universe. Besides, you gave up Helen in that universe to give her a better life. Wish granted. Don’t go bitching about something that doesn’t affect you at all and –if it makes you feel better- your brother is having a _great_ time.” Latin jerked her head in Emmet’s direction who looked a little harassed at being repeatedly put on the spot.  

“Well, not that this hasn’t all been wonderful, but some of us have our own children to get back to.” Graham’s Regina smiled tightly. “Or is there some other reason we were dragged here for other than this oh-so delightful conversation and shoving a painful loss in our faces?”

That Regina glanced over at Daniel and Regina Prime stood close to one another, forehead to forehead, arms wrapped around one another and speaking softly.

The sight didn’t break her in half like she had expected it would but it still _hurt_. She tangled her fingers through Graham’s when he reached for her.

“Wow, I was a _real_ bitch back then.” Emmet’s Regina’s brows rose. She too sought comfort by leaning against Emmet. Seeing Daniel again had affected her too.

“Before you get in a fight, I’d like to point out that you would _literally_ be insulting yourselves.” Graham cut in smoothly and his Regina closed her mouth and clenched her jaw.

“Did none of y’all listen to a damn word I said?” Veronica raised her eyebrows. “You’re here to give that Regina a smack upside the head so she realises that her fate isn’t written in stone! As soon as she pries herself away from her long lost True Love, she’s gonna get scatty and nervous and it is _your_ collective duties to make sure she doesn’t freeze up and hide from what she feels. Again.”

Latin smirked and looked at the rest of the table.

“What she said.”

“By the way,” Veronica looked to her friend, “I half expected you to bring Robin and let him be the peanut gallery for this happy occasion.”

“It was in the first draft.” Latin admitted with a half shrug. “But there’s limits to even my cruelty.”

“You settled for giving him syphilis, didn’t you?”

“Tertiary,” Latin smirked unapologetically.

“Latin, can I have some ice cream?” Helen looked up at her minder again.

“We’ll need to ask your daddy.” Latin said when she realised she had no idea if it was okay for a small child to have that much sugar.

“Daddy!” Helen lunged to get out of Latin’s hold and was caught at the last minute by the harassed Author.

“Christ, ye wee…!” Latin looked suitably alarmed at nearly having dropped the child on her head.

“What is it, little one?” Daniel finally managed to peel himself away from Regina.

“Can I have ice cream? Latin said I had to ask you.”

Daniel huffed something like a laugh and laced his fingers through Regina’s, tugging her closer to meet his daughter. He didn’t let go of Regina even to pick up Helen, relying on Latin to hand her into his arms.

“Helen, this is Regina.”

“Hiya, Regina.” Helen clutched her pony toy to her chest and hid behind it a little. “You’re very pretty.”

“So are you, Helen.” Regina beamed a dazzling smile at the little girl and she ducked her head and blushed in response.

“Your sisters is a little scary.” Helen confided.

“Oh?” Regina leaned over a little to raise her eyebrows at her ‘sisters’.

“Yeah, Wiggles and Pet. Latin tol’ me.”

“Wiggles?!” Regina laughed and focussed on the blonde man when he turned to her with an expressive shrug.

“Pencil skirts.”

“Ah.” Regina nodded and turned back to Helen. “How about you and your daddy go and get some ice cream? I just need to talk to…Latin.”

“’Kay.”

“I’ll be right back.” Daniel told her softly, lifting her hand to press a kiss to her fingers.

Then he let her go and her stomach lurched at the loss of contact.

She rounded on Latin in and instant and had her out of the booth with a hand on her neck before she even knew what she was about.

“Ow.” Latin gritted but didn’t struggle.

“Is this real? Is it a trick? Did you give him back to me only to take him away? If so, I swear to any god that will listen that I shall drag you to your own personal hell and nail you to its thrice damned _wall_.” Regina snarled and Veronica bolted to her feet, eyes wide, Latin waved her off.

“It’s alright.” She spoke tightly but she was still able to. Regina wasn’t trying to choke the life out of her yet. “It’s not a trick. I wouldn’t be that cruel.”

“Why should I believe _you_ , Author, when your friend has spent my entire life for his entertainment?”

“He’s no friend o’ mine.” Latin gritted and straightened up. She jerked back, pulling her neck from Regina’s hold and sucking in a deep breath. “That’s why your reflections are here. Character witnesses. I did nothing more than tell their stories and they’re all happy. Nothing’s set in stone. You can have this fabled happy ending if you want it. It’s real and it’s here and all you have to do is fucking take it.”

Latin rolled her shoulders in an irritated movement and straightened her tee shirt from Regina rumpling it.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve a steak waiting for me if that wumman ever comes out of the damn kitchen with it.” Latin nodded to the bar and then waved behind her. “Go and mingle with your fellow protagonists.”

Then she skirted Regina and headed for the bar to sit on her previous stool.

She nodded her thanks to Granny when she _did_ appear. With steak.

And a _drink_.

The infamous cider and a soda chaser.

“That was cool.” Veronica joined her with a grin and unrolling her own cutlery for her dinner. “Seeing you work.”

Latin grunted and shovelled food into her mouth. She was _starving_.

“I didn’t know you had such a thing for happy endings.”

Latin shrugged.

“You know, for such a wordsmith, you don’t actually _talk_ very much.”

“I say what I need to.” Latin grinned and kept eating.

Veronica shook her head and turned back to watch Daniel and Helen join the table of Reginas and their respective true loves. It was a somewhat awkward scene but Emma took over refereeing (plenty experience from being a sheriff no doubt) and the stilted conversation soon began to flow.

Veronica looked back to Latin when she heard her begin to laugh.

“What is it?”

Latin sucked her teeth to make sure there was no steak caught there and she lifted her glass, saluting Veronica.

“Happy Endings in Ten Thousand Words or Less.” She hummed a chuckle. “I should –how’d you say it- hang a shingle?”

Veronica laughed and lifted her own cider, clinking her glass with Latin’s.

“Guaranteed.  And don’t worry—I’ll do your corporate taxes.”

Then they both laughed and they both drank.

It wasn’t an ending, there was more to their story, but it was a happy moment.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Look out for a response from Addicted1. 
> 
> You can't see it, but my eyebrows are bobbing.


End file.
